The Killer Inside Me
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- Publication Date: 1952
- Written by: Jim Thompson
- Page count: 229
This was a book that a friend gave to me as a gift several years ago. He described it to me as a "1950s serial killer book," and from that description I knew it had to be an interesting read. I tore through it in just a couple of days on my first reading, then put it back on my shelf for a long time. After four or five years, I gave it a second read, and I can safely say that it holds up even better than I remember. If you're looking for a book that will get under your skin, this is definitely a solid pick.
I like to compare this book to William Lustig's Maniac because it also follows a mentally unstable killer as they live their everyday lives, although this book's protagonist is a little less outwardly creepy than Maniac's Frank Zito. Lou Ford is our main character here, and he's a man who spends every day masking who he really is. He presents himself as a friendly and well-meaning police officer, with an "aw shucks" demeanor and a tendency to talk people's ears off about mundane things in life. However, this personality is just a facade hiding his true self: a cold, calculating killer who is always wrestling with his recurring urge to hurt people. What makes this a great read is how much Lou's inner thoughts contradict how he acts in the real world. There are several points where he will be talking on and on to a character about some meaningless thing he heard around town, but his inner narration says that he is consciously making the decision to talk this way to lead people on and toy with them. In one of my favorite paragraphs, he starts to gloat about how normal he comes across, mocking the unsuspecting people around him with a little bit of smartass flavor:
"I've loafed around the streets sometimes, leaned against a store front with my hat pushed back and one boot hooked back around the other - hell, you've probably seen me if you've ever been out this way - I've stood like that, looking nice and friendly and stupid, like I wouldn't piss if my pants were on fire. And all the time I'm laughing myself sick inside. Just watching the people."
For a book written in 1952, I can't believe some of the dark material that is tackled here. Not only is Lou a killer, but he's also a sexual sadist, as there are numerous scenes of him getting violent with the women he is with at the time. His friendly mask remains on as he takes his girlfriend on a nice date, only to hurt and bruise her in the bedroom while thinking mocking thoughts like "Honest Lou, that was me, Let Lou Titillate Your Tail." His sexual sadism doesn't stop there, and I'll just say that it sinks to depths that many readers will probably find sickening. Obviously, many of the themes in this book were extremely taboo for the time it was written, and I really like the way that Jim Thompson was able to get away with talking about some of them. There are a few moments where Lou will begin to describe some of these disgusting tendencies, only to cut himself off mid-sentence and move on, like he realized he's giving away too much and wants to change the subject. There's enough there to let mind fill in the gaps of what was left unsaid, and the mental picture it paints is more horrific than words can describe.
What makes this book such a page-turner is its ever-tightening grip of tension. After Lou commits his first couple of murders, he covers up his tracks and does his best to carry on with his everyday life. As someone starts to investigate and gets a little too close to the truth, he takes them out as well. This goes on and on, and as he tries his best to kill his way out of suspicion, his mocking thoughts begin to turn into genuine fear for himself as his friendly mask begins to shatter. My brief description here doesn't even come close to how effective Thompson's voice, writing and pacing are. I just can't think of a better way to say that anyone who reads this will likely have a hard time putting it down.
The cover of this book features a quote from Stanley Kubrick that says: "Probably the most chilling and believable first-person story of a criminally warped mind I have ever encountered." I have to agree with him. Of all of the serial killer stories I've seen in movies and books, this one is easily the most realistic. Grab a copy and give it a read, but be warned: you probably won't feel too clean when you're done with it.