Fighting My Phone and Digital Addictions
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April 29th, 2025
Have you ever realized that you're addicted to something that seems completely harmless on the surface? It's an odd feeling to notice that something that is a part of your daily life and you use for so many purposes is actually causing you a great deal of harm. I know it sounds dumb on the surface, but I genuinely feel like I'm addicted to my smartphone after so many years of using it. It's been a personal issue that I've needed to address for a while, but it's starting to get to the point where I get angry with myself for being so wired to it. Something needs to change, and I'm desperate to make that happen.
I first started to reconsider my phone usage and my time spent online when I started making this site last year. In the beginning, I went on a spree of purging a lot of the online content that I had been reliant on for so many years. I deleted several social media accounts on sites that I wished to get away from, completely wiped my YouTube and Reddit feeds, and as of this year, abandoned the Facebook page that I had maintained for 14 years. I even installed an app on my phone to lock myself out of my browsers and remind me of how much time I spent on them. For a couple of months, getting away from endless algorithms relieved a lot of the stress and negativity that I was feeling online. At the same time, I also discovered the modern-day independent corners of the Internet that reminded me of the fun web browsing of my youth. I genuinely thought that if I made a conscious effort to browse these smaller sites and avoid mainstream social media, I could cut off the need to endlessly scroll and find a better balance between my online life and the real world.
However, over the past few months, I keep finding myself getting sucked back into certain sites that I really want to leave behind. The two biggest ones that I just can't seem to escape are YouTube and Reddit. I've deleted both apps from my phone, wiped my accounts' subscriptions and even logged out of them in my browser, but even that can't stop me from scrolling them. My girlfriend likes to send me interesting videos or posts from time to time, and just one click of a link can cause me to scroll and scroll, and before I know it, I've spent hours on my phone that could have been spent doing something else. It's almost a compulsion at this point, and I hate the feeling of my arm unconsciously moving towards my phone any time I have a moment to myself. I've put so much effort into moving away from social media and trying to emphasize my hobbies in the real world, and while I've had some success, I still haven't been able to achieve my goal of cutting it off completely. I can't even go 24 hours without accessing either of those sites, which is such a depressing thought to me.
I've been using a smartphone since 2013, and even though it does have conveniences such as GPS and a flashlight, I've grown to despise using mine. Having the world's knowledge in your pocket sounds like an amazing idea, but to me, it's nothing but an entry point to getting sucked into the negativity and time-wasting that I desperately want to escape. Every time I get to scrolling on my phone, I can't shake off the thought of the amount of hours that I've spent doing it. Just a week or so ago, my phone told me that I had spent 17 hours in my browser simply listening to YouTube or scrolling feeds. Imagine the books that I could have spent that time reading, or the movies watched, or time spent outside or with friends. I'm going to sound like "old man yells at cloud" here, but I genuinely think that the world was a less chaotic and happier place before the Internet permeated every facet of our lives. In the 90s and 2000s, your online life was limited to when you sat down at a computer and logged on. When you logged off, you re-entered the real world around you. You weren't constantly bombarded by instant unwanted communication, news stories or events that distress you, or outrage bait that brings out your worst feelings on a 24/7 basis. There was a much better balance between the two lives, and I feel like smartphones and algorithms that keep you wired to social media have made us dependent on the Internet to an uncomfortable degree. It's all gone too far, and I'm now doubling down on my decision to walk away from it.
Once my smartphone is paid off in a couple of months, I'm going to go back to using a flip phone or something similar. Once it's retired, my Internet usage will strictly be limited to my desktop computer. Two videos that my girlfriend sent me have made me determined to make this change in my life: How We Lost Our Focus (and why it should scare you) and I hate my phone so I got rid of it. If you share any of my feelings or concerns that I've written here, I highly recommend watching both videos if you have the time for it. The first one explains why re-engaging your mind to properly focus on things is so important, and the other provides some good ideas and tips for living life without a smartphone in the modern era. This is a change that will take time and adjustment after so many years of phone reliance, but I'm personally willing to face the challenge if it leads to a healthier mind and better concentration. It seems like I'm not alone in wanting to do this, and hopefully more people will choose to make the change as time goes on. Let's take some steps to get back to that simpler life that so many of us remember.